I recently completed a list of my all time favorite songs.
There are way to many to list. This got me to thinking
about music and the impact it has on my life. Which
lead me to journaling to add to my list.
Here is what I write in the journaling.
I have always loved music.
Both listening and singing along.
Music for me holds memories and feelings.
It is a way for to express myself when the words aren't there.
I would love it if my life could be an endless Glee show.
I could have a group of spirited singers with me all day
that would burst out into song through out the day.
We would sing together with passion through the days
struggles and joys.
When the kids are at school and it is a day I will be home I like
to grab my phone, plug in headphones and listen to Pandora.
I have three different stations for different moods.
I have A Thousand Years Radio for my more quieter times or
just need some easy listening. Glee Radio for when I am moving
about doing laundry or cleaning. The third one is Pop and hip hop
workout for when I go running or need to break out some dance moves.
If I put my headphones on I am always sure to lock the front door so
I am not caught belting out songs at the top of my lungs.
Music also has a way to bring up emotions.
It can bring me to tears as I go back to a time in my life
that was really hard or special. I have two songs that always come
right to my mind that can have me in tears. The first is I Promise
You by N'SYNC. I can not get through this song with out tears pouring
down my face. This song takes me back to when I was 18, a senior in
high school and pregnant. I would drive to work, this song would come on
the cd I had in. With tears streaming down my face I would sing this song to
my daughter with a hand on my round belly. I knew I loved her so much already
and wanted her to know that no matter what I would be there for her.
The second song Just a Dream by Nelly also takes me back to me
in the car. This time I am driving down the freeway to go be with
my sister and preemie nephew in the NICU. The song came
on and I was singing along and it got towards the end to
a verse that says "If you ever loved some body puts your hands up.
Now they're gone and you're wishing you could give them everything"
This made my start bawling and I still do every time I hear it because it
takes me back to that moment and those feelings. My sister had recently
given birth to twins at 25 weeks. My little nephew Carter gave this world
his best try but his little body just wasn't able. I felt so sad
for her and the loss of my nephew Carter. I wanted so badly for there to
be something that I could do for her to take away her hurt and loss. To
have my nephew back in her arms to fill that empty void. But there was
nothing I could do but be with her and Cohen. So I drove on, singing
and crying on the freeway.
Music is something that is special to me.
It holds so many memories and has helped work through
frustrations, hard ache, helped me celebrate and express my feelings.
I will never tire of listening, remembering good times and the not so good,
singing my heart out, and getting my dance groove on.
No matter your mood, thoughts or feelings there is a song.
